There are many ways in which to enhance awareness, including the following:

• Noticing thoughts, feelings and behaviors that you appreciate and those that you do not. Sometimes self-awareness is blocked by a desire to “not have” certain experiences.  Many change experts agree that the first step in changing certain aspects of ourselves or our experience is to be aware of them (or “own them”).  We can enhance such awareness by simply noticing aspects of ourselves that we you do not want to own or acknowledge, such as being short-tempered from time to time, having a large ego or simply struggling to take accountability when we make mistakes.
• Journaling about your thoughts, feelings and behaviors. People are often surprised at how much impact writing or talking about themselves can have on awareness.  Even writing about just a few genuine thoughts and feelings in relation to 1-2 of the most impactful experiences of the day can help us become more aware of what is happening inside and outside of ourselves.
• Participating in awareness-enhancing exercises. There are many experiences that help people becomes more aware of what is happening within them, with others and in their environment.  Sign up for an interesting course, read a book by a credible author and/or talk with someone who helps you expand your awareness regularly.  Making a commitment to expand our awareness on a regular basis can bring about truly amazing results if we stick with this commitment over the long haul.

NOTE TO THOSE USING THE MISSION FULFILLMENT SYSTEM: You can facilitate your awareness by adding a new Objective to your system by using the “Add New Item” link (for example, “Increase my awareness”).  You can then develop a SMART Goal related to that new Objective by using the “Add Subitem” link to the far right of the new Objective (for example, “Make a list of 12 experiences that could enhance my self-awareness in meaningful ways and participate in one per month.”).

FOR THOSE WHO ARE NOT ON THE MISSION FULFILLMENT SYSTEM: Click here to for more information and click here to sign up.

FINAL NOTE: If you were linked to this article by a video or email, please return to that link and proceed with any other instructions that you deem helpful.  For more Execution Excellence tips and tools visit our site at: www.excellencetree.com

• Talking to yourself in more peaceful ways. “Harsh Self-Talk” is very common and is often a major reason for low levels of peace of mind.  You may wish to identify times when you say harsh things about yourself (for example, “I am so stupid.”) and provide yourself with an alternative thought that is (at least) just as true as the harsh statement (for example, “I made a mistake like everyone does from time to time.”)
• Regular deep breathing. Often overlooked due to its simplicity, regular deep breathing can have a massive effect on peace of mind and clarity.  The link between using our entire lung capacity when breathing and experiences of peace is well-established; learning to breathe more deeply can help cultivate peace of mind by activating the parasympathetic nervous system (the portion of the nervous system that helps us calm down).  You may wish to read about how to perform deep (or “diaphragmatic”) breathing and focus on your breathing 1-5 times per day for 5-10 minutes in order to experience the benefits of this powerful exercise.
• Engaging in more peaceful experiences. Experiencing more peace in your world can increase peace of mind.  You may wish to identify places, people and activities that bring about more centered states of mind and goal-set to spend more time engaged in things that bring you peace and clarity.

NOTE TO THOSE USING THE MISSION FULFILLMENT SYSTEM: You may wish to cultivate your peace of mind by adding a new Objective to your system by using the “Add New Item” link (for example, “Cultivate My Peace Of Mind”).  You can then develop a SMART Goal related to that new Objective by using the “Add Subitem” link to the far right of the new Objective (for example, “Make a list of peace-inducing experiences and spend at least 10 minutes per day engaged in those experiences 1-3 times per day.”).

FOR THOSE WHO ARE NOT ON THE MISSION FULFILLMENT SYSTEM: Click here to for more information and click here to sign up.

FINAL NOTE: If you were linked to this article by a video or email, please return to that link and proceed with any other instructions that you deem helpful.  For more Execution Excellence tips and tools visit our site at: www.excellencetree.com

Optimized self-esteem is often brought about by affirming our strengths (without overestimating them) while simultaneously understanding our weaknesses (without allowing our awareness of weaknesses to influence us to underestimate our worth as people).  Here are some methods people have used to promote a balance between self-doubt and arrogant pride:

• To help balance out self-doubt, get in touch with your “Fueling Forces.” Fueling Forces are activities, places or people that help you feel physically and/or emotionally stronger.  It can be helpful to identify what fuels you and goal-set to be around these forces more frequently.
• To help balance out arrogant pride, become more aware of your weaknesses and embrace them. Imperfections are often what help ground us and connect us to others while continuously motivating us to continue to learn new ways to improve.  It can be useful to identify 3-5 areas of weakness in ourselves in order to stay aware that we are not perfect (like everyone else) and to become comfortable expressing these imperfections to others when appropriate.  This can help promote a culture of genuineness or candor in our personal and professional lives.
• To stay balanced: Stay aware of areas of strength and areas of imperfection and affirm both regularly. It can be helpful to keep a list of areas where we are strong and areas where we have significant limitations.  These lists are likely to change over time (and with attention and training), but the balance between self-doubt and arrogant pride doesn’t have to.  There will always be areas where we are strong and areas where we do not excel.  Staying aware of that fact can help optimize self-esteem and keep us grounded in reality (and connected to ourselves and others, too).

An important note about these sorts of exercises: It can be critical to be very careful to avoid punishing candor in the areas above (for example, calling ourselves “weak” or “big-headed” while performing the exercises).  If we use any of the strengths or weaknesses we become aware of against ourselves (or others, if we are doing this in a group format), it can actually serve to hurt the chances that we will be honest in the future.  This is why I often recommend using the exercises listed above in conjunction with exercises to promote “Peace of Mind.”

NOTE TO THOSE USING THE MISSION FULFILLMENT SYSTEM: You can work toward optimizing your self-esteem by adding a new Objective to your system by using the “Add New Item” link (for example, “Optimize my self-esteem”).  You can then develop a SMART Goal related to that new Objective by using the “Add Subitem” link to the far right of the new Objective (for example, “Make a list of my strengths and limitations and reflect on it weekly without judging myself harshly.”).

FOR THOSE WHO ARE NOT ON THE MISSION FULFILLMENT SYSTEM: Click here to for more information and click here to sign up.

FINAL NOTE: If you were linked to this article by a video or email, please return to that link and proceed with any other instructions that you deem helpful.  For more Execution Excellence tips and tools visit our site at: www.excellencetree.com

Meaning and  purpose can be enhanced by staying aware of how what we do connects with our broader objectives in life.  Here are some ways people have been able to strengthen meaning and purpose in their personal and/or professional lives:

• Become very clear about Primary Objectives. Primary Objectives are statements of what we want to experience or accomplish in life.  Some examples might be: “Keep in good physical and mental shape,” “Provide my customers with outstanding services,” or “Be patient and kind to my co-workers, family members and friends.”  Primary Objectives can help strengthen a sense of meaning and purpose in life; becoming clear about what we want out of our work and personal lives is often the first step toward meaning enhancement.
• Identify activities that are strongly aligned with Primary Objectives. Once we are clear about what we want to experience or achieve in life, we can then begin aligning our daily activities with those objectives (and minimize time spent in activities that do not align with them).  For example, a daily activity aligned with the objective “Promote an effective and satisfied team” might be “Perform an activity that puts me in a peaceful, centered state of mind before coming to work every day.”  An activity aligned with “Keep in good physical and mental shape” might be “Stretch for 15 minutes every morning.”  The more clear we are about how to make our Primary Objectives a reality, the more meaningful our personal and professional lives can be.
• Do a barriers and solutions analysis when Primary Objective-aligned activities decrease. We all have days that seem less meaningful than others.  During these days, we can increase meaning by identifying what may be stopping us from doing what we want to do, then making a plan to overcome these barriers to meaningful experiences.   For example, a possible barrier to the activity “Stretch for 15 minutes every morning” could be that an alarm clock failed to go off in time for our stretch.  We can then adjust the activity in some way that still allows us to feel as though the Primary Objective (for example “Keep in good physical and mental shape”) is still being fulfilled.  It may be that the stretch can happen during breaks at work or in the evening, for example.  For some of the most common categories of barriers to doing meaningful things, you may wish to look over my article on wishing versus doing.

NOTE TO THOSE USING THE MISSION FULFILLMENT SYSTEM: You can work toward enhancing meaning and purpose by adding a new Objective to your system by using the “Add New Item” link (for example, “Enhance my meaning and purpose in work and life”).  You can then develop a SMART Goal related to that new Objective by using the “Add Subitem” link to the far right of the new Objective (for example, “When I encounter a barrier to accomplishing one of my most important goals, I will do a barrier and solutions analysis until the goal is accomplished.”).

FOR THOSE WHO ARE NOT ON THE MISSION FULFILLMENT SYSTEM: Click here to for more information and click here to sign up.

FINAL NOTE: If you were linked to this article by a video or email, please return to that link and proceed with any other instructions that you deem helpful.  For more Execution Excellence tips and tools visit our site at: www.excellencetree.com

Psychological flexibility can be increased by understanding our current comfort zones and how to broaden them.  Here are some ways people have been able to increase flexibility in their lives:

• Become clear about when you feel more introverted and/or more extroverted and what influences this. The first step in enhancing psychological flexibility is often awareness of our current levels of introversion and extroversion and what situations or people tend to influence these feelings.  It can be helpful to know what characteristics of ourselves, others and our environments tend to influence us to be more engaged in the outside world and/or more focused on our internal states of being.
• Become skilled at using relaxation exercises when feeling overwhelmed. In certain situations, we can all be overwhelmed by too many extroverted activities and/or too many introverted experiences.  Relaxation exercises (such as deep breathing or relaxed stretching) can help us to expand our comfort zones when we feel overwhelmed by too many external stimuli (extroverted experiences) such as other people’s needs or reactions by some of the things that are going on inside of us (introverted experiences), such as excitement, fear or anger.
• Practice becoming more comfortable in different situations at a pace that is challenging, but not overwhelming. Once we know what tends to influence us and how to relax during challenging experiences, we can begin expanding our comfort zones across situations.  For example, if we tend toward introversion and are overwhelmed at board meetings or social gatherings, we can begin by spending 15-30 minutes with others, then going somewhere to practice solitary relaxation exercises before returning to the social experience.  If we are more comfortable in extroverted situations and are overwhelmed by certain internal or solitary experiences (fear, anger, excitement, boredom, etc.), we can start by engaging in 15 minutes of these introverted experiences, then relax with others for awhile.  Once we become more at ease in situations that require introversion and extroversion, we can increase the amount of time spent in all sorts of experiences that we believe are related to our own personal and professional success and satisfaction.

NOTE TO THOSE USING THE MISSION FULFILLMENT SYSTEM: You can work toward increasing psychological flexibility by adding a new Objective to your system by using the “Add New Item” link (for example, “Increase my psychological flexibility”).  You can then develop a SMART Goal related to that new Objective by using the “Add Subitem” link to the far right of the new Objective (for example, “Practice 10 minutes of deep breathing when I am overwhelmed in social situations.”).

FOR THOSE WHO ARE NOT ON THE MISSION FULFILLMENT SYSTEM: Click here to for more information and click here to sign up.

FINAL NOTE: If you were linked to this article by a video or email, please return to that link and proceed with any other instructions that you deem helpful.  For more Execution Excellence tips and tools visit our site at: www.excellencetree.com

Effective coping can be facilitated by a clear understanding of how to increase our ability to handle challenging times will also decreasing the amount of unnecessary difficulties that we experience.  Here are some ways people have been able to cope effectively with the stress and conflict in their lives:

• Increase your self-awareness in relation to coping challenges. One key to coping more effectively is an understanding of what challenges our coping abilities.  For some of us, it can be difficult to cope with criticism.  For others, coping with feelings of being ignored or unimportant can be more difficult.  Understanding what challenges our coping abilities most intensely can give us a clear vision of how to strengthen them.  It can often be helpful to create a list of 5-10 experiences that are particularly challenging in order to increase awareness of what tests our limits.
• Become an effective self-soother. Coping challenges can be overcome more easily when we find ways to soothe ourselves in tough times.  There are 3 major sources of soothing: (1) ourselves (2) soothing others and (3) soothing places.  When times are tough, it can be helpful to talk to ourselves in soothing ways (for example, “this is a tough time, but I’m a good person who is doing my best to learn from this and get through it”).  It can also be helpful to seek out others who will understand and listen (rather than judge or give unsolicited “advice”).  Going to places that we enjoy or that relax us can also be helpful when times are tough.  It can be very helpful to create a list of 5-10 soothing experiences and goal-set to engage in at least 1-2 of these experiences every day (even if for only a few minutes a few times a day).
• Pursue meaningful goals and experiences in life (or seek to attach meaning to challenging experiences). It is well known that people who can see the meaning in challenging times tend to cope more effectively with them.  If we are pursuing meaningful goals and experiences in life, we are more likely to be able to handle barriers to our success and satisfaction.  If we can attach meaning to barriers, they are less likely to be perceived as overwhelming and more likely to be seen as valuable experiences.  For example, sometimes tough times can create the opportunity for meaningful connections with others who can relate to our experiences or to share a laugh with someone who knows how we feel.  Asking ourselves “what meaning can I attach to this experience?” before, after or even during challenging times can help us cope more effectively with a variety of stressful experiences.

NOTE TO THOSE USING THE MISSION FULFILLMENT SYSTEM: You can work toward strengthening coping skills by adding a new Objective to your system by using the “Add New Item” link (for example, “Strengthen my coping skills”).  You can then develop a SMART Goal related to that new Objective by using the “Add Subitem” link to the far right of the new Objective (for example, “When I feel overwhelmed, talk to myself in soothing ways, see if Jane is available for a talk and/or take a walk in the park for 15-30 minutes.”).

FOR THOSE WHO ARE NOT ON THE MISSION FULFILLMENT SYSTEM: Click here to for more information and click here to sign up.

FINAL NOTE: If you were linked to this article by a video or email, please return to that link and proceed with any other instructions that you deem helpful.  For more Execution Excellence tips and tools visit our site at: www.excellencetree.com

1. That an optimistic outlook that is grounded in realism can be extremely helpful to well-being, personal effectiveness and relationship satisfaction.
2. That many believe it is more “realistic” to be pessimistic than it is to have an optimistic outlook.  This often false belief is often a major barrier to the cultivation of this aspect of Self-Mastery.

This shows how critical it can be to cultivate an optimistic outlook that is also based on realism (as opposed to optimism generated through “rose colored glasses”).   Unrealistic optimism can be as damaging as pessimism when it comes to the ability to achieve important goals or experience satisfaction in life, so learning how to be both realistic and optimistic is critical.

Realistic learned optimism can be cultivated by enhancing one’s ability to both see current reality as it is while also moving toward outcomes or experiences that are satisfying to us.  Here are some ways people have been able to cultivate realistic optimism in their lives:

• Identify methods of goal-setting that make positive outcomes and satisfaction more likely. There are many methods of increasing the probability of achievement and/or more satisfying experiences in life.  For example, much research has revealed that the more specific, measurable and realistic a goal is, the more likely it is to be achieved.  The goal “Become a better person and leader” is much less specific, measurable and realistic than a goal like “Read one chapter in my favorite self-improvement or leadership book and implement 1 idea from that book every month by the 15th of each month.”   Some people refer to this sort of goal-setting as “SMART Goal-setting;” click here for more on SMART Goal-setting.
• Become skilled at noticing positive outcomes and satisfying experiences. Very often, people tend to overlook the small improvements in their lives while looking for the “big, miraculous changes.”  This can result in two major blocks to realistic optimism: (a) decreased motivation to continue to work on the small changes that so often are the reason for eventually large changes (b) an inability to notice that it normally takes hundreds small changes to create big changes that we desire (which can result in a basic ignorance of how big changes actually come about).  Noticing and celebrating the small changes can be a big step toward optimism based in realism.
• Develop a way in which to reframe “failure” as just another step toward positive outcomes and/or satisfying experiences. Many people who are both optimistic and realistic realize that failure can be used to help promote success.  Instead of looking at failure as a disappointment, people with more realistic optimism tend to see it as a signal to improve their plan or that what they are currently doing will not get them the outcomes they desire.  Instead of feeling like a failure, they simply adjust their plans or their outlook on what it means to have not accomplished their desired outcomes.

NOTE TO THOSE USING THE MISSION FULFILLMENT SYSTEM: You can work toward cultivating realistic learned optimism by adding a new Objective to your system by using the “Add New Item” link (for example, “Cultivate Realistic Learned Optimism”).  You can then develop a SMART Goal related to that new Objective by using the “Add Subitem” link to the far right of the new Objective (for example, “When I regularly fail to achieve a desired goal, develop 1-5 different or smaller, more realistic goals that are more likely to bring about desired results.”).

FOR THOSE WHO ARE NOT ON THE MISSION FULFILLMENT SYSTEM: Click here to for more information and click here to sign up.

FINAL NOTE: If you were linked to this article by a video or email, please return to that link and proceed with any other instructions that you deem helpful.  For more Execution Excellence tips and tools visit our site at: www.excellencetree.com

All of this begs a critical question: If there is so much positive pay-off for better physical health that people are clearly aware of, why is it that so many of us do not engage in activities that can bring them about?  We’ve found that two major reasons why people do not attend to their physical health regularly: (1) they do not consistently link good physical health to personal and professional success and satisfaction and (2) they do not put together a plan that is both helpful and practical, which results in either unhelpful routines or routines that are given up on within a few weeks of beginning them.

Better physical health can be made more practical by identifying the following: (a) customized methods of being more healthy, (b) the barriers to engaging in those methods and (c) the most powerful ways to overcome these barriers to action.  Here are some ways people have been able to make better physical health practical in their lives:

• Identify 1-2 health-promoting activities that you would like to regularly engage in. The first step to improved health is typically the identification of healthy activities that we genuinely have a certain amount of enjoyment of (or motivation for) engaging in regularly.  Many of us do not think about the long haul when beginning to engage in these activities, so motivation and enjoyment are ignored when developing these activities.  This is one of the major reasons why new health-promoting activities tend to be given up on only a few days or weeks after they are begun.  So, it is important to identify activities that you can imagine being a part of your life for years when making these sorts of plans and to regularly remind ourselves of how important these activities are to our personal and professional lives.
• Identify the top 2-3 barriers to regularly engaging in health-promoting activities. The next step in making good health more practical is often awareness of the blocks to doing so.  There are all sorts of barriers to engaging in health-promoting activities, from perception of not enough time to feeling low-energy to lack of enjoyment.  Identifying these barriers is a critical step in making a regular health routine practical, but only if we include the next step in this process (the creation of solutions to help overcome barriers).  Many of us do not move on to this step, making the identification of barriers a way in which to simply affirm that good health is not practical to us.
• Develop solutions to help overcome barriers to health-promoting activities - and do not stop doing so until you are engaging in these health-promoting activities. As stated in the previous step, the generation of solutions to overcome barriers to healthier living is a critical step in this process.  For example, people with time constraints can shorten their work-outs when needed.  People with low-energy can select options that do not require high levels of intensity (for example, stretching, walking or eating better) until their energy levels increase.  Those who are not having fun with their health-promoting activities can do something to increase their enjoyment (like asking enjoyable others to do the activities with them, listening to music while working out or decreasing the intensity of an activity that is causing too much pain or discomfort).  Developing solutions to these sorts of barriers (and committing to never stopping until good solutions are uncovered) also often comes with a positive “side effect:” the cultivation of another aspect of our Self-Mastery model: realistic optimism.

NOTE TO THOSE USING THE MISSION FULFILLMENT SYSTEM: You can work toward making good physical health more practical by adding a new Objective to your system by using the “Add New Item” link (for example, “Develop and execute a practical health-promoting plan”).  You can then develop a SMART Goal related to that new Objective by using the “Add Subitem” link to the far right of the new Objective (for example, “Stretch for between 10 and 30 minutes at least 3 times a week, listening to my favorite music when I feel like doing so.”).

FOR THOSE WHO ARE NOT ON THE MISSION FULFILLMENT SYSTEM: Click here to for more information and click here to sign up.

FINAL NOTE: If you were linked to this article by a video or email, please return to that link and proceed with any other instructions that you deem helpful.  For more Execution Excellence and Self-Mastery tips and tools visit our site at: www.excellencetree.com

Leisure time can be used in more satisfying ways by understanding how important this is (to ourselves and to those around us) and committing to doing so regularly.  Here are some ways people have been able to use their leisure time to truly recharge themselves:

• Decrease time spent in dissatisfying leisure activities. Very often, it can seem as though we do not have enough time to engage in satisfying leisure time.  However, it is frequently the case that we do have this time; it is just often spent in dissatisfying (and frequently unconscious) ways.  To become more aware of how we spend (or mis-spend) our leisure time, it can be helpful to identify 2-3 of the most time-consuming leisure activities that take up our time that do not truly recharge and/or relax us and seek to minimize time spent in those activities.  Some common examples of such activities that we have encountered over the years are channel or internet surfing, spending time with draining/dissatisfying people, or worrying about things that we have no control over.  Decreasing time spent in activities that we do not truly love to engage in often opens up more time for the things we really want to do.  In fact, it’s been our experience that people who become more aware of how they use their leisure time often find 5-20 extra hours every week!
• Increase time spent in satisfying leisure activities. Once we have minimized dissatisfying leisure activities, it is often the case that 5, 10 or even 20 more hours are available to us every week for satisfying leisure time.  It can then be helpful to take more control over our leisure time by identifying 2-3 activities that we really enjoy doing to replace the old, less satisfying activities.  Some examples of activities that people we have worked with over the years have chosen are reading, spending more time in favorite places/with favorite people, engaging in a class just for the enjoyment of it, catching up on some sleep from time to time or engaging in activities that bring about more centered, peaceful states of mind.  Becoming clear about what truly satisfies and recharges us makes it more likely that we will experience a more energized, focused and calm mind and body.
• Recruit “satisfying leisure social support.” Some of us can find ourselves in social circles (both personal and professional) that do not understand or value the power of satisfying leisure time.  Some people falsely believe that spending time in satisfying ways is “bad” or “lazy,” which can motivate them to try to make those of us using our leisure time in satisfying ways feel guilty about it.  Because this can be such a common attitude toward leisure time, it can be important to find people who are supportive of our commitment to satisfying leisure, rather than dismissive of it.  Finding others who recognize how important it is to relax and recharge on a regular basis can make it more likely that we continue to do so.  Click here for more on recruiting effective social support.

NOTE TO THOSE USING THE MISSION FULFILLMENT SYSTEM: You can move toward more satisfying leisure time by adding a new Objective to your system by using the “Add New Item” link (for example, “Use my leisure time in satisfying ways”).  You can then develop a SMART Goal related to that new Objective by using the “Add Subitem” link to the far right of the new Objective (for example, “Identify activities that truly relax and recharge me and perform them for at least 30-60 minutes per day for 4-7 days a week.”).

FOR THOSE WHO ARE NOT ON THE MISSION FULFILLMENT SYSTEM: Click here to for more information and click here to sign up.

FINAL NOTE: If you were linked to this article by a video or email, please return to that link and proceed with any other instructions that you deem helpful.  For more Execution Excellence and Self-Mastery tips and tools visit our site at: www.excellencetree.com

Increased influence on our thoughts, feelings and behaviors can be cultivated by understanding how to bring about more self-awareness, self-acceptance and self-confidence.  Here are some ways people have been able to cultivate more influence over themselves:

• Enhance self-awareness. It is well known that the more conscious we are of what influences us, the more potential we have to gain more influence over ourselves.  For instance, if we are aware that disrespectful messages tend to cause us to lose influence over our feelings, we can then explore ways in which to handle disrespect more effectively.  On the other hand, if we stay unaware of this (or in denial of it), we remain unable to address this block to self-influence.  Click here for more on self-awareness enhancement.
• Cultivate peace of mind. The more peaceful and calm our mind is, the more influence we can maintain with ourselves.  Cultivation of a calm mind is in many ways similar to the development of a strong, healthy body; it takes regular practice and commitment, and can fade away quickly if we do not attend to it on a daily basis.  Click here for more on cultivation of peace of mind.
• Cope effectively with stress and conflict. No matter how much self-awareness and peace of mind we cultivate, there will always be times when we feel overwhelmed.  This is why good coping abilities are critical.  Click here for more on coping effectively with stress and conflict.

NOTE TO THOSE USING THE MISSION FULFILLMENT SYSTEM: You can move toward more influence on yourself by adding a new Objective to your system by using the “Add New Item” link (for example, “Increase my influence on my thoughts, feelings and behaviors”).  You can then develop a SMART Goal related to that new Objective by using the “Add Subitem” link to the far right of the new Objective (for example, “Spend an average of at least 20-30 minutes a day with people who help me cultivate a peaceful, centered state of mind.”).

FOR THOSE WHO ARE NOT ON THE MISSION FULFILLMENT SYSTEM: Click here to for more information and click here to sign up.

FINAL NOTE: If you were linked to this article by a video or email, please return to that link and proceed with any other instructions that you deem helpful.  For more Execution Excellence and Self-Mastery tips and tools visit our site at: www.excellencetree.com