Self-Mastery Tip: Cultivating Realistic Learned Optimism

by Dr. Brian Higley

January 8th, 2010

We’ve found that both research and our personal experience has revealed two things to be true when it comes to optimism:

1. That an optimistic outlook can be extremely helpful to well-being, personal effectiveness and relationship satisfaction.
2. That many believe it is more “realistic” to be pessimistic than it is to have an optimistic outlook.

This shows how critical it can be to cultivate an optimistic outlook that is also based on realism (as oppossed to “rose colored glasses”).   Unrealistic optimism can be as damaging as pessimism when it comes to the ability to achieve important goals or experience satisfaction in life, so learning how to be both realistic and optimistic is critical.

Realistic learned optimism can be cultivated by enhancing one’s ability to both see current reality as it is while also moving toward outcomes or experiences that are satisfying to us.  Here are some ways people have been able to cultivate realistic optimism in their lives:

• Identify methods of goal-setting that make positive outcomes and satisfaction more likely. There are many methods of ensuring increased probabilities of achievement and more satisfying experiences in life.  For example, the more specific, measurable and realistic a goal is, the more likely it is to be achieved.  For example, the goal “Become a better person” is much less specific, measurable and realistic than a goal like “Read one chapter in my favorite self-improvement book and implement 1 idea from that book every month by the 15th of each month.”
• Become skilled at noticing positive outcomes and satisfying experiences. Very often, people tend to overlook the small improvements in their lives while looking for the “big, miraculous changes.”  This can result in two major blocks to realistic optimism: (a) decreased motivation to continue to work on small changes (b) an inability to notice that it normally takes 100 small changes to create big changes that we desire.  Noticing and celebrating the small changes can be a big step toward optimism based in realism.
• Develop a way in which to utilize failure as just another step toward positive outcomes and/or satisfying experiences. Many people who are both optimistic and realistic realize that failure can be used to help promote success.  Instead of looking at failure as a disappointment, people with more realistic optimism tend to see it as a signal to improve their plan or that what they are currently doing will not get them the outcomes they desire.  Instead of feeling like a failure, they simply adjust their plans or their outlook on what it means to have not accomplished their desired outcomes.

NOTE TO THOSE USING THE MISSION FULFILLMENT SYSTEM: You can work toward cultivating realistic learned optimism by adding a new Objective to your system by using the “Add New Item” link (for example, “Cultivate Realistic Learned Optimism”).  You can then develop a SMART Goal related to that new Objective by using the “Add Subitem” link to the far right of the new Objective (for example, “When I regularly fail to achieve a desired goal, use this as a signal for setting smaller sub goals in place of the original larger goal.”).

FOR THOSE WHO ARE NOT ON THE MISSION FULFILLMENT SYSTEM: Click here to for more information and click here to sign up.

FINAL NOTE: If you were linked to this article by a video or email, please return to that link and proceed with any other instructions that you deem helpful.  For more Execution Excellence tips and tools visit our site at: www.excellencetree.com

Article Filed under: Self-Mastery Tips